"Bravangelizing", The Bra Matrix, and Mainstream Media Body Shaming

Warning: this is kind of a rambly post.

Now that I know that everything US shops teach about bra fitting is horribly wrong, I want to ask every woman in my life to measure herself using this guide. I want to assure them that yes, that is their real size, and yes, they can find bras in it. I want to take them to Nordstrom, brush off the shabby fitters' request to measure them, and teach them how to properly put on a bra. I want them to feel awesome about their chests like I did when I stopped wearing the wrong size. I resist, because I don't want to "bravangelize", and because it is quite likely that before they got the perfect bra, they would take the blue pill and go back to their terrible Victoria's Secret bra because "it's comfortable".

Bra shopping can be really frustrating if your shape is any sort of "extreme"- shallow, very full on either bottom or top, pendulous, etc. All of these shapes come with their own needs, and wearing bras in your right size will make the shape incompatibilities noticeable in a way that quadboobing out of a 36C won't. A properly fitting band will feel very different than a band 4 inches too big. And the idea of ordering online without getting to try the bra on is daunting, to say the least, especially since most of the discount bra w ebsites are UK-based. I can certainly understand the temptation to blow the whole thing off and shop at the cheaper store that's in every mall and claims that the quadboob is just "awesome cleavage"!

There is a graphic being passed around on Pinterest and Tumblr now, as well as an awesome fitting guide on Tumblr. I truly think more and more women are becoming aware that the bra alphabet does, in fact, go past the letter 'D', and that 32-38 A-D are actually relatively uncommon sizes. We are close to breaking out of the Bra Matrix.

Ah, the Bra Matrix. I did not coin this term (I wish!) but I think it perfectly describes the way we learn about bras here in the States. I'm sure you've all seen those oh-so-clever posts about "decoding bra sizes" that say things like "E is for Enormous, F is for Fake, G is for Get a reduction!" That is some toxic stuff, right there, partially because it is patently false, but mostly because it is a terrible form of body shaming. Women are either too big or too small; women who are too big either got implants and thus are insecure, or they should just get invasive surgery so as not to offend the male gaze; women who are too small need to get implants, but only a certain size and shape of implants, because otherwise they won't cater to the male gaze. It's gross, and it's everywhere!

You can break out of the Bra Matrix easily, thanks to a website called the Bra Band Project. What you have come to think of as a 34C is probably closer to a 30F or so. Take some time to look around at sizes close to yours, and sizes far away. Take the red pill.